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If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
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The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have in your hands is a non-working cat.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
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Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
If you haven\'t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
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Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
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Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
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When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
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Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.
I think \'Hail to the Chief\' has a nice ring to it.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
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I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
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Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
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It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
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I don\'t want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheels?!
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
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Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
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Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you\'re pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don\'t need to be done.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have nothing whatever to do with it.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
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I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
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The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
When ideas fail, words come in very handy.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
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To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
Why don\'t you write books people can read?
A good sermon should be like a woman\'s skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
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A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Digital desire\'s hall of fame
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
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The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/14/(Sat) 17:34
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